sunday scaries: volume 3 (the valentines day special)
i fear jack harlow IS getting cuter by the secondâŠâŠ.also kanye x dril when????
what is scaring me this week?
kanye v kimâŠin the press. i would love to stand with azealia banks but there is something truly evil going on with the kardashians. i just cannot shake kim and her friend lipsyncing lyrics meant for barely not a teenager jordyn woods. or their involvement with the *unofficial* architect of britney spearsâs conservatorshipS lou taylor. i think of how powerful kris jenner is with her media contacts. i remember kanye talking about them trying to put him in a conservatorship years ago and it sounded very similar to what michael lohan and courtney love sounded off about their experiences with lou taylor. i think it is all very bad and i think the kardashians have always been linked to very powerful and corrupt people:/ and nobody under the age of 13 should be on tiktok!!! it is truly run like rotten .com used to be!!! but i hope for the kidsâ sake, they work it out offline and i hope for all of ours, they do it SOON
THAT being said, my đ©đ©is that i am team kanye!!! is he a nightmare and constantly saying horrifying things? and now running his verified instagram page like a finsta with 12 followers instead of 12 million?? always!!! but he is not wrong about the media being held in the palm of kris jennerâs hand!!!
for months we have been tormented with how very quiche it is of kimberly to be down at the long island equivalent of cinemark or hanging out with Âżflavaaaaaaaa flav? with track 14 of sweetener but anything kanye does is unhinged and *scary*1! coverage of kim + the guy who said he felt bad for the pastor who groped ariana grande at aretha franklinâs funeral got on my nerves after the first headline so i cannot imagine if that was still my legal wife!!! it has been 37 scandals the kardashians have covered up with boring stories since the news that kimye split but i have not forgotten that the news dropped right before lawsuits against kanye dropped! the key is to keep up with the kardashians, not be kept! i do not blame kanye for blowing up his followersâ feed because just like being a little mean2, i think celebrities should also be a little unhinged on social media. i see no difference between kardashian sugar bear hair posts and kanye posting ye v skete civil war memes3!!! itâs camp!!! his hostage coded post *proving* he is not hacked??? incredible!! should kanye shut up? yes! all of us should! but the kardashians have made no plans for slowing down their media rollouts so why should ye?? i think kim probably finally got sick of him because she had used him for all he was worth to her and found someone else to leech attention from! hope she is having fun4! good for her! but we have seen how the kardashians treat all of their exes publicly so i stand with yeâŠ.kinda. well. more like a squatâŠ. maybe a brief wall sit???
the billie eilish beef is important to me only because it marks the level of unhinged kanye is currently and stavros used it to bring attention to the old photos circulating of the way billie and her brotherâs gf look very similar! just a very strange dynamic!!!! but the kid cudi beef!!!! why?? scottâŠâŠyou could have easily just said im good luv enjoy xx but instead you had to say dinosaur and send ye further into the arms of future??? ensuring that donda2 will inevitably be on heavy rotation for me!! with one twink obliterated and cudi chunking up the deuces, only a young chalamet aka lil timmy tim aka two inches proud remains. i hope willy wonka gets worked into the chalamet slander because i am ready for some iteration of âtimmy as willy seems wild because gene was wilderâ even though in my heart, i know kanye prefers the johnny depp version :/
awkwafina aka nora was incredible in the farewell. i even enjoyed the first season of nora from queens because bowen yang is perfect and has never done anything wrong in his life! i thought wow she is really Making A Change and leaving her old cOnTeNt behind. her old content of course being shane dawson lite during her time as a rapper? but then raya came out and i was like OH, jk. now as a member of the no purpose flour community, what she has done and seemingly continues to want to do is none of MY business! but her weirdo behaviour and refusal to truly apologise is beyond strange to me!!! like if your mom catches you doing something you are not supposed to be doing as a kid, yelling at her and telling her how she was wrong to tell you not to do thatâŠ.usually does not bode for a happy or even good ending. zae recently tweeted this:
my old tweets are me live tweeting the voice. y'all's old tweets are like violent homophobia and racism like WOAHand i feel that in my damn bones!!! i refuse to apologise for the things i have said publicly to blake shelton online but i have deep shame!!! and that was me being like âyoooooo you are so tallâŠrespectively ;-)â so i do not get doubling then eventually quadrupling down on behaviour that people said was hurtful to them?!?! and posting an âapologyâ then immediately liking every single post that says you have nothing to aplogise for always makes the apology feel so genuine and sincere! and why 2024??? at least we get a break from whatever this all has been!
everything else going on has overshadowed j.lo and maluma reading thirst tweets for buzzfeed! but it is truly bonechilling!!! i cannot put my finger on the je ne sais quoi that makes the whole video seem like it is being filmed by kidnappers but the tweets are not fun and barely thirsty! who isnât a hole for maluma?? i have seen my friends say much more salacious things about maluma on their main accounts let alone finstas!!!!! a quick search of âmaluma canâ on twitter pulled up this! buzzfeed, you are COWARDS!!!! but charlie dayâs was perfect. not quite as good as jake johnsonâs or andrew garfieldâs or my personal favourite making winston duke read âmâbaku could blow my mâback outâ for the second time but charlie reading the tweets deadpan and unaffected like a stern dad is the Content i needed after this week
simu liu is hot!!! he is seemingly the worst personally based on his past/present/future online presence but he absolutely slayed being a himbo on kimâs convenience so any slander about his casting in gretaâs new barbie movie makes you all look WEIRD!! because to me, jamie presslyâs tether margot robbie looks like a ladybug came to life so get real!!!! we are going to be seated for barbie for the vibes and the pen!
2013 was the darkest time of my life!
and since it IS valentines day tomorrowâŠas a treat, here are a few red flags that are a dealbreaker to me (inspired by watching too many tiktoks using the red flag generator filter) that was going to be the original Theme of this newsletter before awkwafina the oracle and kanye the shitposter inspired the tone for everyone else so far this month!!!!
if they are a joe rogan or red scare podcast fan. not even a judgment on the Content (mostly) but these are like sports for Edgy nerds! ENOUGH!
uses body wash/shampoo hybrid. 5-in-1 should be illegal. my attorneys have advised me not to speak further on this
is a taurus or capricorn (see gina rodriguez and jake paul)
presents me with a glass of pulp free orange juice. am a i newborn baby? are you going to chew up my food and baby bird to me?? extra pulp oj and creamy peanut butter are the majority of my personality! peanuts should either be nuts OR butter, no in between!!!!
refuses to hit the slay button :/
thatâs all for now!!!! what are your đ©đ©đ©?this week, paid subscribers will get ALL of my notes on jamie lynnâs book but i will give you the number one note now: HOW DID THIS GET PUBLISHED?? not even content just style and editingâŠ.it is a 200 page twitter thread! without the intrigue of zola! but cannot get into That further right nowâŠ..i have to go get ready because the superbowl is about to start! hope your team wins!
xx
âi bought the house next door! what you think the point of being really being rich for?â legend!!!! this song truly makes me laugh so much!!!!!!!!! i thought i missed the chop up da beat kanye but i am loving divorced dad ye!!! as long as he keeps his focus off of politics/history and on the terms and conditions of tiktok and whatever pete davidson memes his reddit page sends him!!!
there will never be a better moment to me in herstory! but see even in this clip, the actual details of how bjork was being hounded and harassed are mostly left out execpt a throw away line at the end!!!!! fake news is not just about microchips or pizza kabals or whatever!!!!
icymi:
and i hope pete gets clean soon!!!! i have never liked either track 14 but i truly do worry for him!!! he looks more like ben affleck every day :-(