peaks and valleys feb 2024: they always say yeehaw but never ask haw yee
universal music pulled all their music from tiktok. nature is hurting.
peaks
some people are born great. some people achieve greatness. and others have greatness inflicted upon them. tina fey’s appearance on las culturistas was a combination of all three. AUTHENTICITY IS DANGEROUS AND EXPENSIVE!
THIS AIN’T TEXAS AIN’T NO HOLD EM!!! beyoncé is coming home to us (march 29). the country album is coming. i prayed for times like these…
quinta brunson continues to be the most generous person on earth. her latest gift is having casey frey on abbot elementary. abbot is flawless as always but the addition of casey reminds me of the most perfect video to ever exist:
matt damon? more like matt (almost) gay-for-ben-affleck-man
apparently kate middleton could be missing? and has not been seen or heard from since december… finally the british family is being interesting instead of their usual pointless, drab, and racist criminals schtick they have been rocking with for the past 1000 years or so… the “story” is still unfolding so More on That next month…
jennifer lopez ! i did not get a chance to tune in but i know the double feature of the movie (this is me…now) and documentary (the greatest love story never told) will be life changing… regardless, i love this era of some of our more established entertainers doing pet projects. beyoncé has renaissance. barbra streisand wrote a nearly 1000 page memoir. taylor swift has her eras tour. and jlo is in her trisha paytas era1! live. laugh. and also love.
aidy bryant hosting spirit awards (bisexual oscars)
valleys
it always feels out of place to talk about serious topics in this publication. but aaron’s bushnell powerful and heartbreaking death is something worth talking about everywhere. currently, we only know a fraction of the atrocities taking place in gaza right now. so, to call the continued denial of ceasefire “terrorism” feels almost too small. before self immolating while shouting “free palestine”, he broadcast himself on twitch. his final words were:
“my name is aaron bushnell, i am an active-duty member of the united states air force and i will no longer be complicit in genocide. i am about to engage in an extreme act of protest but compared to what people have been experiencing in palestine at the hands of their colonizers, it's not extreme at all. this is what our ruling class has decided will be normal.”
police aimed guns at his fallen burning and dying body. what other solutions do we have? what hope for Better can there be? rest in peace aaron. and to all the other lives needlessly taken in gaza. free palestine.
break dancing dad. you think your dad is bad? he probably is but it still could be worse… he could be a Crypto Guy AND professionally break dancing…
wendy williams :-( ever since the wendy williams show youtube channel was wiped clean, it has been nothing but bad news coming from the wendy williams camp. wendy and i set aside our differences and bonded in miami in the doctor’s office of a bbl clinic in 2017 and if i loved her less, i could probably tune in to her new documentary. but despite living in the age where vulnerability is commodity, i think sometimes people should be allowed dignity and peace. hearing bruce willis was being fed lines through an ear piece or the previews of this documentary… i do not know how some people sleep at night!!! wishing her the best and (as always) kevin senior the absolute worst!!!!!
ariana is still with spongebob!?! they have been spotted out and about multiple times, holding hands. love wins ? at least the album will be worth the hooplah… surely2…
drake posting free tory lanez. loser. likely place for him to be as 14 year old millie bobbi brown’s bestie at 31. still insane that he definitely caught the most (beyond deserved) strays in hiss but nicki did All of That. drake is a gambling addicted occasionally funny always loser. i’m glad rick did what he did in degrassi…
i am someone who has watched every episode of every country’s love island, every episode of every vh1 dating show, and an undisclosed (shameful) amount of episodes of shows in the bcu (bachelor cinematic universe) and so many insane reality “love” dating shows like joe millionaire, milf manor, next!, and sexy beasts. i actually think watching married at first sight was the final straw for me and made me question the validity of finding love on a reality show. i know!! i never believed in santa clause but i spent way too long believing people genuinely went on the programs to find their soulmate! my only defence is that i am a pisces and also an honorary clown college graduate (phD)! that being said, many of my friends showed up for Scandoval and finally opened their eyes to the beauty of The Greatest Show on Television. a year later, i still have fondness and gratitude for their bravery and so i will be seated for this season of love is blind…once it airs its last episode on march 13. i am begrudgingly doing so per my best friend’s requested and i am legally bound to indulge every recommendation she tosses my way. i would like the record to show that i attempted to watch this show when it first came out but like most of netflix original programming, i left feeling much more angry than entertained. i need to be courted by the idea that Love Is Real and not be reminded that it is a neurochemical con job. this is a bit of a cheat for a valley since i will not be watching until next month3 but i am Aware of the cliff notes of the drama. and let me just say MEN ARE BOLD.
favourites
album: cranberries - everybody else is doing it, so why can’t we?
article: Harry Styles and the Turkish Hair Transplant
book: my name is barbra. i love my mother
movie: dicks the musical
song: 16 carriages. i might cook. i might clean. but i STILL won’t fold. beyoncé the woman that you are… yee fucking haw
tv show: ONE DAY!!!!!! nobody can break your heart like your best friend! my favourite genre of media. insane run to have a book, movie, and tv show all be god tier but david nicholls just is That Bitch ! if you need a good cry, i could not recommend 14 better episodes to get the job done especially offered by flop jester streaming service netflix.
the pop girls are back. max martin is in the studio. nature is healing. pisces season is over tonight. maybe we are going to make it after all…
xx
making a sorta biographical movie and also a documentary ? likely place for a leo to be!!!!
(from the future) IT IS!!!!!!!!! spongebob u beautiful scumbag!!! thank you for being a total roach
future me: i watched it and i hated it but was worth it so i could even moreso enjoy trixie and katya’s recap of it