my 13 favourite housewives moments
wig (wish i gave a shit)
recently, youtube suggested i (and apparently several other of my sisters) watch this youtube video of the master of mess andrew cohen getting dragged for nine minutes! who am i to say no to pure innocent fun so naturally i obliged. apparently this was an invitation for my algorithm to really push a subgenre of real housewives edits and compilations that have taken over my home page/life.
taking such iconic strolls down housewives memory lane has reminded me of the moments of television that raised me. while it sadly did not make the cut, aviva throwing her leg down after declaring it was the only fake thing about her is something we can all (pun slightly intended) stand to learn from.
that type of unhinged energy is what won over the hearts of millions and launched thousands of memes. while the following may not be The Most Iconic to you, THAT’S MY OPINION on my favourite housewives moments of all time.
RHOBH (season 5): the dinner party from hell in amsterdam. truly a masterpiece. i still laugh every single time!!! “why don’t you have a piece of bread and maybe you will calm down a little.” “i have had about enough of you, you beast!” the asmr version is something i revisit a little too often. i will always be #TeamKim and despite what may have occurred in a target later, i think she did nothing wrong! lisa rinna is a snake and with peace and love, eileen is no personality beauty!!! she had everyone’s tea and i am still waiting to know what the fuck harry hamlin did to garner That reaction from the inferior lisa at the table
RHOA (season 10 reunion): “joggers”
RHONJ (season 1): teresa flipping the table after danielle rudely tells her to “pay attention”
RHOM (season 2): so many incredible moments down under but i will always be partial to pettifleur requesting floorboard mirrors be put in her new bentley “i go commando and i want a landing strip so i can check out my landing strip”
RHOBH (season 3): ramona’s cat walk that made kendall jenner actually seem good at her job
RHONY (season 7): luann saying “so be cool. don’t be all, like, uncool”
RHOA (season 2): nene’s face as she is telling kim “have a good night. we wish you all the best on the song1; we’re all gonna buy it. thank you!”
RHOA (season 2): “she thinks that i owe her an apology. good thing she don’t get paid for thinking”
RHONY (season 8): dorinda speaking for ME by saying “guess what bethenny frankel? you’re not the word according to god. you’re not gospel.”
RHODC (season 1): lynda’s tagline has always made me SCREAM! i cannot even explain why it is so funny to me but will never be over her awkward deliverance of “i give people enough rope to hang themselves. and the smart people don’t.” it just always stood out to be as so insane amongst fluffy nonsense taglines like “mirror mirror on the wall i don’t think i look 48 at all” “i may float like a butterfly but i sting like a bitch” “you can stab me in the back but whilst you’re there you can kiss my ass” and my personal favourite from my least favourite “people get exhausted trying to figure me out and i just let them.”
RHOC (season 10): brooks faking cancer! but specifically, meghan playing detective and figuring out he was lying BY CALLING THE TECHNICIAN HE SAID HE GOT PET SCANS AT which eventually led to vicki admitting she “stayed in the waiting room” while brooks did chemo long after several layers of cancergate unfolded. truly so insane!!!!
RHOBH (season 1): this fight between kyle and kim in a damn limo is so beverly hills! it really breaks my heart for kim but i love it because it is one of the few times kyle stops pretending to be little miss doe eyed daisy and lets her nasty side show! (kyle and kenya are my least favourite housewives of all time, if anyone was wondering!)
money may not be able to buy you class but it can get you access into my free britney series. currently wrapping up the fourth instalment by talking in great detail about her not so gone with the wind fabulous siblings! who gon check me, boo? this hurricane ida bitch i am currently evacuating from i guess…..
enjoy your weekend, prostitution whores! xx
kandi burress produced “don’t be tardy for the party” unfortunately available on all streaming platforms