monday scaries: much ado about the goalie fight that almost was

my current state of being is if sporty spice had a lobotomy

honestly, it has been pretty boring on the celebrity front. it’s been over a month since armie hammer tried to go toe to toe with louis theroux and benny blanco declared his love for his fiance selena gomez…by filling up her clawfoot bathtub with nacho cheese. i still feel chilled to the bone by the tub cheese and am also not currently in the headspace to receive selena’s new music¹ after the snippets i heard. i still am reeling from bruno’s fat juicy & wet…

i thought this deeply informative headline about bella ramsey would be the most shocking headline i would see this month…