halloween is for the ghouls and slays
tomorrow we inaugurate mariah carey as president for the remainder of the year. but today we celebrate my holy day
hottieween is in full session. somehow we continued on even after the master of ceremonies matt lauer1 was booted from the job and off the face of our flat earth.
celebrities should post less “imagine” videos and more examples of what their infinite wealth can do for the people aka their movie ready halloween costumes! celebrity halloween costumes are my met gala. as such, i have rounded up the good, the bad, and the mitt romney.
megan THEE stallion as pinhead aka hell priest from hellraiser. infinity stars. crazy how she invented halloween costumes!!!!!
megan thee stallion as cruella deville! would have loved to see all five of her dogs as dalamatians! 4 stars.
ariana grande also understands the sanctity of all hallow’s eve and the recently married judge on the voice did what needed to be done. 5 stars.
ariana is definitely keeping these photos on the bedside table. 4 stars.
adam rippon as nicki minaj’s cousin’s friend. I CANNOT STAND HIM!!!!!! best costume idea of the night. 5 stars!
my baby pisces sister olivia rodrigo as elvira from scarface! 4 stars!
chloe bailey as golddigger lola from cinematic masterpiece shark tale. this is everything to me. 5 stars.
chloe also stepped out as betty boop. 5 stars.
halle bailey IS janet jackson!!! 5 stars!
jojo siwa as it! perfect. 5 stars.
pabllo vittar as carrie. miss girl hired a production team solely for halloween/the gram. because that is how it should be for anyone with a blue check and a swiss bank account. that beautiful deeply undertaxed money has to go SOMEWHERE and while public programs may seem better for society/mankind, spending lavishly for my viewing pleasure could be seen as equally good for society. this should be the law for people in a certain tax bracket. 5 stars!
my wife and 1/3 of little mix jade thirwall. 5 stars.
cardi b as morticia addams! extremely important 2 me!!!!!!! 5 stars.
doja cat as princess kida from atlantis. 5 stars. a method actor!
doja cat as ms. sara bellum from the powerpuff girls. 3.5 stars!
before halloween, in all levels except physical doja cat was cynthia. tonight, that changed. 5 stars!
ciara as selena. selena was from texas and had to learn spanish to sing. so the me llamo selena no estas ciara video is so???…….why ciara. maybe you should have spent less time hanging out with louise “loucifer” taylor and more time perusing selena’s wikipedia. 4 stars.
ciara as tlc. herstory!!!! 5 stars.
katy perry and orlando “dr. dilf” bloom. 2 stars.
taylor swift as a squirrel. is taylor a furry? no judgement but she has so many of these animal onesies…. perhaps she was too busy putting the final touches on the ten minute version of all too well to have a Proper costume. 1 star.
coco jones as queen bey! STUNNING! 5 stars!
charli xcx as morticia addams. 4.5 stars!
sociopath (my song of the summer) singer olivia o’brien as sexy guy fieri. my culture is not a costume but i cannot look away. guy would never be so unsanitary with kitchen utensils. 4 stars.
bree runway as catwoman. 5 stars!
jojo as teena marie. legends. 5 stars.
speaking of legends….steve buscemi handed out candy as his “hello fellow kids” character/meme. 5 stars!!!!
sophie turner and joe jonas invited olivia de longe to have a three way….costume with them. this is not NOT what my dreams are made of…. 4 stars!
january jones as angelica graynamore from joe versus the volcano. 3.5 stars!
tracee ellis ross as dj quik. MIND IF I SCREAM! god i love her so much. truly an incredible person. nepotism is ok! 5 stars!
sydney washington as COME ON BARBIE LETS GO PARTY. 5 stars.
it feels like kendall is channeling “you can stop at five or six stores. or just one” more than mars attack. certainly better than her other offering this year… 3 stars.
yung miami is queen of the damned! 4.5 stars!
future egot winner rachel zegler as MY fair lady, envy adams from scott pilgrim. 3.5 stars.
my halloween prince abel stepped out this weeknd as the godfather. 5 stars.
my younger pisces brother is the saddest balou i have ever seen. he got his r&b grammy nom why is he pouting?? baby, you wasn’t even trying!!!!!! 1 star.
lee yoo-mi as the squid games doll. i have seen this costume several thousand times this year but this one was the cutest!!! 4 stars!
(founder of the only app i long for more than jeremy renner’s) kourtney kardashian and travis barker as nancy and sid. they are so punk, baby! 3 stars.
kravis starring in true romance. 3.5 stars.
it’s nightmare on elm street and guess who playing freddie? LEBRON james! 4.5 stars.
hailey bieber as britney jean spears. NOW THIS IS HOW YOU FUTILELY USE YOUR MONEY!!!! legend! truly this is what i expect from everyone whose job is being pretty. 5 stars.
this one is for all my fellow rexars and bad bitches. if you are a pervert, stop reading this right now!!! queen bebe dressed as anna nicole smith on her wedding day. i think this may be my favourite costume of the year. 5 stars.
lil nas x as seth from ned’s declassified. exposing a himbo icon to a younger generation! activism never takes a day off! 5 stars!
nas also did the spookiest costume of the year. he who shall not be named (no not lil nas’s bestie emoblackthot) was bone chilling in the several tiktoks he made. 5 stars!
former eic of them whembley sewell. i know trisha paytas is sick over how good this looks. 5 stars.
my aquarius compadre harold reginald styles as dorothy from wizard of oz. more like great value raggedy anne! where is the wig! the braids! toto was there on stage and band members wore other oz costumes so kudos on That but do better!!! i know those gucci checks are clearing faster than the holland tunnel. clearly he has been spending too much time with his friend kendall jenner and got some costume effort inspo from the queen of pepsi. need those shoes, though. babes, if you are going to be a friend of dorothy, come correct! pigtails are not optional if you are dorothy damn gale! 3 stars.
harry also spent harryween as a clown. i have loved this particular clown for so many years now i just know he has much better Looks in him. i am available for his styling needs. look at what i accomplished by starting a tumblr bullying him for those purple trainers…2 stars.
anderson.paak recreated stevie wonder’s and prince’s album covers! 4 stars!
the only reason i still tune into grey’s anatomy aka alex landi entered the squid game arena. he is possibly the hottest person alive! 4 stars!
zack fox and kat and kiwi stepped out of the box. my favourite “influencer” family. 5 stars.
no, tyga does not have the suds. 2 stars.
rihanna as sergio kitchens aka gunna. would have been even better if the costume debuted alongside new music. 2.5 stars.
sarah ramos as jane fonda’s workout! 4 stars!
phoebe bridgers and paul mescal as That Couple that likes your vibe. 5 stars.
update: they also dressed as megan fox and mgk. the impact this will have on my psyche is TBD. there it is….that funny feeling. 5 stars.
alessia cara as amy winehouse. i was scrolling the bird app and thought it was a photo of amy. details matter and are most pleasing to me! 4 stars.
diane kruger as snow white. 2 stars. any old ghoul can throw on a party city wig. do better, queen! actually 3 stars because the angle of this picture is haunted.
willow smith could do fight club but brad pitt could never whip his hair back, let alone forth. 4.5 stars.
where in the world is betty cooper? veronica lodge and cheryl blossom aka camila mendes and madeline petsch did a couples costume that could have featured the entire cast. i hope kj apa is not holding them hostage while he films his audition tape for drag race. velma and daphne can only carry so many episodes alone! 3.5 stars!
hayley kiyoko exiting her role as lesbian jesus to enter the squid game. 2 stars.
words cannot express what this costume means to me. let alone that it is being carried out by niecey nash and jessica betts. they are truly so in love. con😭grat😭u😭lat😭ions😭! 5 stars.
lisa from blackpink as squid game’s red light green light doll. 3 stars!
ryan seacrest as ted lasso and kelly ripa as bridgerton. if you are a baby that is ted lasso, gorgeous! if you are a woman that is ted lasso, stunning! if you are a man that is ted lasso this year, grow up! ted lasso and squid game are the most common costumes i have seen this year. and yes halloween is about being silly and having fun but also ?? the zendaya/bella thorne vehicle has been off the air for years so if not you, who will shake it up? kelly, i have seen you do better. last year you were joe exotic AND carole baskin. but you still look good despite the lunch lady gloves! 2.5 stars. ryan this halloween pop up store flop is unacceptable! what is that wig??? celebrities that have more money than god are committing especially heinous crimes against the general public by using the same budget as rick from accounting! but seacrest specifically should have a costume so incredible i forget he tried to high five a blind man named scott macintyre on american idol. and then really committed to the bit. seacrest out! 1 star.
sometimes a costume can be so specific to you. my older (and that’s ok!) pisces brother matt rogers picked up the crown that justin bieber dropped and nailed this high school fire island pines pantry employee. i would expect nothing less from the host of haute dog who inspired nearly dozens of messages i received asking me if i had “heard of this show q-force? you have to watch! you would love twink”. 4.5 stars!
ethan klein as joe rogan getting out of his instagram live ice baths. the idea is god tier but i am not feeling the full fantasy like his 2020 halloween uncle fester gave me! i guess trisha got to keep the makeup squad in the divorce:-( 3.5 stars.
someone who did give me the full sweet, sweet fantasy (ms. juicy) babyyyyy!!! crazy how she invented being cat woman? my queen has never failed to understand the damn assignment. 5 stars!
i am a certified loverboy for amelia of chicken shop date fame as the pregnant emoji. high art! simple yet so effective! 5 stars!
lizzo as baby yoda aka grogu. if this was smash or pass…smash. 3.5 stars.
lizzo also did thriller as the doll from squid game. 4 stars!
benny drama as my mentor kourtney kardashian and mary beth barone as travis barker. now THAT is a bald head!!!! 5 stars.
benny’s boyfriend terrence o’connor and pal aïnhoa hardy made an appearance as megan fox and colton baker. 5 stars!
benny and terrence also debuted their best marilyn and woman who bites things and wears cute hats. 5 stars.
ira madison thee 3rd as the people’s princess. he hit em with the gucci. and although this is a specific Look, a side-by-side is not needed to know what the costume is giving! a lot of you cannot say the same! 5 stars.
i have not felt this way since bowen yang dressed up as gru for snl. janelle monáe as grinch for a photoshoot? masterful. elegant. hot! did what absolutely needed to be done!!! infinity stars.
pregnant michelle branch as virgin mary. jesus may have died for my sins but i would gladly die for michelle. 5 stars.
sabrina carpenter as LILO in confessions of a teenage drama queen. taste! stream sue me for clear skin. 3 stars!
anitta as britney. 4 stars!!!
holly madison as cursed doll “peggy” that is well known in the uk for causing pain to anyone that looked at her. sorry….. 5 stars?
mitt romney as ted lasso. like most things men do i was so confused by this i forgot about halloween and figured this was just something he did. he drinks whole milk; who knows what he is capable of. i hate it so much. also not including the other half of this coworker couple’s costume because ??? who does that??? i know his wife is shaking and throwing up. and for once it is not because she is watching modern family. 1 star.
kris jenner as cruella. haunting. 2 stars.
yara shahidi as aaliyah. 3 stars!
(the only philosopher whose teachings are of any interest to me) joe and his wife melissa gorga dressed up as “italian ken and barbie” because of course they did. gabaGHOUL, etc! 4 stars.
mindy kaling as elle woods. that wig is atrocious. elle woods would never. disrespectful. you have the budget for better wigs from the office syndication alone, queen. excellent dog. 3 stars.
euphoria cast. 5 stars.
eternals cast. angelina jolie doing taylor swift drag! you love to see it! 5 stars.
judy greer as joan cusack as cyn in working girl in my city! 3.5 stars!
selena gomez. only thing making me scream is how boring this is:/ 1.5 stars.
loni love as lil nas x! LOL! 4.5 stars
liz gillies and eliza bennett as blair and serena from gossip girl. j’adore! 3.5 stars.
shakira as a witch. her hips will know if i am lying. 1 star.
shakira later redeemed herself with gerard piqué! 3.5 stars!
jerry o’connell as harry styles. 3 stars.
natalie morales as ariana grande. someone check on gabi martinez. 4 stars.
florence pugh as midsommar character dani. recycling is good for the environment! very convincing costume! she looks just like her! 2.5 stars.
you make me un grande loco!!!!!!! she is setting my canadian prince up with this one i fear. 2 stars.
michael seater as sexy carrie. (he is wearing tiny shorts as opposed to the usual prom get up) love this!!! this looks good while also being party efficient. canadian legend!!! 3 stars.
ashley darby from rhop as doja cat. 3 stars.
saweetie as catwoman. 4 stars!!
kacey musgraves. she only posted this to stories. hmm. 2 stars…
seth green2 has always given me quite the fright and his chucky costume is one that makes me feel unsafe! his wife clare is as equally stunning as seth green is bonechilling. 3 stars!
podcaster (and my crush since he said “i am a libra! we are indecisive, ok!) ilya fedorovich as me! identity theft is a crime!!! honestly shocked more people did not go as existential crisis in the club. 5 stars.
ilya and his bestie john also made an appearance as kuzco and pacha. 5 stars.
trisha paytas as emily from corpse bride. if there is one thing trisha is going to do, it is lie. and also 125% commit to a costume. 4.5 stars.
neil patrick harris and david burtka and their children understand their job! 5 stars!
john legend’s family became the addams family. where is pugsley/miles? 4 stars!
kimberly noel kardashian and track 14 popped up holding hands on splash mountain. for people mag exclusive??? 0stars. my brain cannot compute this info
honourable mentions:
a few tiktoks that did more stunning serves than your fave ever could/would:
drew is a menace to society. i hope that never changes.
and finally, my favourite critique of a costume/person:
and that concludes this sP0okY coverage of the hollywood elite. looking forward to next year’s hopeful eradication of covid so the queen of halloween heidi klum can go back to raising the bar for the rest of her out of touch peers! if you did not see your fave, it is probably because they blocked me or i have blocked them. also there is just a A LOT of costumes! sorry? hopefully Your spookiest endeavour was getting the fauchi ouchie so you could do the monster mash with at least one ted lasso. there are/were literally millions out there this weekend.
next year, please remember that if you have ever done a photoshoot on instagram for a brand deal, ever worshipped at the altar of sponcon, and/or receive six figure paydays…you are legally required to go absolutely stupid for mine and the general public’s personal enjoyment. small price to pay for my happiness but endearing yourself to our publication comes with a lifetime of free publicity. they are not even a band anymore but a couple of comments and a conversation had in 2010 has me tethered to one direction’s basement for life. drop 10 grand on a glam squad and you will forever see me commenting under all your posts “it’s giving!” even when we both know it is certainly not.
happy halloween! tonight is a full moon. probably3. have to stop checking for costumes and start checking for trick or treaters! going to go channel the spirit of my one true king to pass out candy for two hours or until succession starts. whichever comes first.
xx
truly such an irredeemable vile person!!!! and steve carrell’s portrayal of him???? makes me want to m*rder them both……..
i am sure he is a nice man (probably) but short kings have a certain darkness to them…. and i have a hard time separating the art from the artist (remembering someone’s character from entourage as who they really are)
that was just a funny joke. i am always aware of the moon’s whereabouts. i track the “moon” as she is able to control the tides which are water and as flesh bags filled with a lot of water, we are just supposed to accept that??? this will never not be insane to me…………..anyway it is not even 25% of a waning crescent so be safe out there!
this is so comprehensive, thank you. Thee authoritative celeb roundup!