don't forget where you belong: ten years since the worst facebook message ever was posted

"four is always going to be my sergeant pepper's." -my best friend beth

facebook has had to testify before congress and the supreme court for their various alleged crimes that have allegedly led to the downfall of society as we once knew it. however, i still think their worst crime that they still have yet to answer for was allowing this despicable shockingly horrifying message to be posted to their platform on march 25, 2015:

i cannot think of any Moment in history comparable to how young girls and women felt on this horrible day. emotionally, it was game of thrones and our hearts were the red wedding. at my college. my friends and i skipped the rest of our classes and basically had a prayer circle at einstein bros. this conscious uncoupling could not have come at a worst time for the boy band on top of the world because in 2015, zayn’s face card had never been more lethal. usually after a breakup, you hope your ex gets ugly but zayn has only gotten more beautiful with each passing day.

even if zayn never left, one direction was operating on a scale and within a timeline that was beyond unsustainable, so their “hiatus” was always going to be inevitable. within five years they: starred in/competed on a season of the x-factor uk, made five albums, did four world tours, hosted a 24 hour charity livestream, filmed a concert film directed by morgan spurlock, did countless press days and radio tours, launched billions of dollars worth of merchandise¹, and starred on the greatest episode of icarly. with the loss of liam so fresh, thinking about one direction still makes me sad but their music is an eternal sense of joy. so instead of waxing poetic about what this band has meant to me or how much fun i have had seeing them live or the friends i have made even to this day when discovering a shared love for the band or how their refusal to mock or belittle their female fans made me stop feeling embarrassed about loving pop music or who i think has put out the best music since zayn left/the hiatus. instead of any of That…i will simply rank the entire one direction discography. i am no music major so i will be ranking these the same way i watch sports: with my heart. i love pop music so much and its production is one of the few aspects of the entertainment industry i still enjoy seeing how the sausage gets made. so while i break down which of the 88 officially released songs is worth adding to your cleaning and workout playlists, i will also break down why you probably enjoy certain songs more than others. spoiler alert: it’s the swedes.