to all the wife guys i've never loved

pouring one out for all the guys whom the bar was on the ground for and they still missed it

much like the father who doesn’t abandon his children, for too long a man bold enough to love his wife has been able to sidestep having a personality. In lieu of hobbies or charm, they found their bare minimum heroic feats of being a husband are met with parades and awards. even friends of mine simply having a partner that is kind is monumental. if the bar were lower, it would simply fall through this flat earth! and yet nevertheless these slimey lil snakes have emerged from their neighbourhood barbecues and adult sport leagues into the great unknown: the internet.

because you can find The Wife Guy spread throughout every industry of entertainment: film, art, tiktok, music, certainly podcasts, etc., each individual wife guy becomes more uninteresting than the last, any sign of individuality erased and replaced by generic niceisms and bite size consumable personas for whatever interest or niche content need is being sought out.

relationships, like the humans inhabiting them, are not in…