sunday scaries: spring re-awakening
ripbozo jordan peterson and the fresh and fit podcast hosts for being so insanely unfunny and misogynistic online that you do not even get to be mentioned anywhere but the byline
last month was devoid of sunday scaries because the things that were scaring me were less hehehe and more like hide in bed watching beaches and paddington 2 and pretending i did not live in a state that considers me nothing more than a potential baby incubator. or how even though birth control can help alleviate medical issues associated with the curse of having a uterus, it and my plan a for hot girl summer plan b are always on the table to be taken off the table, while viagra never seems to be in that same conversationā¦ but we have already discussed ad nauseum in the valleys for april how the world we live in somehow continues to manage to go from worse to worser so i digress!!!
and honestly, this is the first month since march 2020 that feels like we are finally getting back to normalā¦in that celebrities have fully lost their minds. we have moved past the few weeks where they pretended to be Just Like Us and have resumed full blown antics again for a crumb of the general publicās attention. it would almost be comforting if it was not so deeply bone chilling!!!
you may have forgotten about lea micheleās revelation about Opening Up to her longtime bestie jonathan groff, but i cannot.
everything i have learned about lea michele has been against my will, but i never regret the knowledge. who could have guessed that the child star prodigy who ryan murphy is obsessed with allegedly has a treacherous soul and no ability to read?!?!
headlines about lea have been, shall we say, less than flattering for the past several years. but page six offered their contribution to my favourite headlines of 2022 by cutting straight to the point:
every detail of this story is more mind bending than the next. The Incident took place 15 years ago when they were gearing up for the impeccable spring awakening. groff was still closeted but admitted to lea that he had never been with a woman before.
i do not remember the line about That aspect of friendship in the golden girls theme songā¦
camila cabello joining the voice. in unrelated news, james corden is going to be starring on the show People Who Are Not Insufferable!
john mulaney brought out dave chapelle as a surprise guest on his stand up tour because john wishes to demolish whatever crumbs of good grace he has left with his fans! just like flop bill maher and jk rowling, dave has centered his entire existence and certainly his comedy routines around being transphobic. despite everything, i was rooting for you john. we were all rooting for you!!!! i love new in town very much and i was one of the fifteen people that not only watched but loved mulaney. and look where that got both of us.
morgan wallace is the country singer who says the n-word frequently enough to register above his colleagues in the yee yee industry. naturally, travis scott thought doing a duet with him would be a way to get good press after astroworld. and if this winning duo was not enough for you, (the patron saint of people who should be prison) puff daddy himself says he is āuncanceling the cancelledā. how about instead of these two talentless losers and jesy from little mix (also not over That), you kept that same energy for cassie???
once again asking for men to be seen and NOT heardā¦
The Cancellation of jack harlow. i kept my mouth shut (mostly) when everyoneās favourite himbo-ish white rapper defended his collaboration with toy story lanez because he was one of the few people to actually acknowledge that megan the stallion was shot by that pint sized pathetic excuse for a man. i did not really care when he was doing online gambling ads or whatever drake is up to these days. but to not know who brandy is???? angel in disguise will always be the moment!!! the kids are not alright!!!! jack loves kanye west so i hope he finds solace that pitchfork rated both of their albums below peppa pigās. as they should.
kendrick lamar dropped a new album. it is severely rihanna-less compared to his last album but that is not what was causing headlines and twitter threads. one of the songs features the f-slur A LOT and misgenders/deadnames his relativesā¦and caitlyn jennerā¦and i know everyone is dying to hear a white cis womanās take on it!!!
i think the intention of the song is very good and important, especially with misinformation and the same old scare tactics from decades ago being brought back as a way to roll back rights of the lgbtq legislatively. but it IS 2022. saying gay is not enough to actively stop the hurtful and too often fatal lgbtq people face daily especially the trans community that kendrick seems to be trying to show love to with that song.
speaking of rihanna, she gave birth to a healthy babyš¤¢taurusš¤¢boy. praying for her!!!! but mostly praying for that barbados nurse that popped out of the delivery room and onto facebook to break the news. i am sure her employers got her but with nay a single in sight and not even new fenty launches on the horizon, i fear the navy may have a little too much time on their handsā¦.
madonna pussy nft
***this is what i wrote when i was making a list of topics to cover for this newsletter and honestly i do not know what else to say other than that and to link the article i saw!!!!
britney spearsās memoir is dropping within the next 6 months!!!!!! that is just one of the invaluable pieces of news that you missed if you are not following her instagram. she has been prepping for and opening up about the process of writing her book and her thoughts along the way. she has also been so giving and honest to her fans despite her having the right to never speak to us or anyone again.
when she opened up about her miscarriage, the response should have solely been well wishes. but because womenās bodies and pregnancies activate some DumbBitch chip in everyoneās brains, everyone had things to say. whether it was about her age or even astrological tips?? SHUT UP!!! why is anyone like this??? why is the first inclination of some to comment mother mortality rates when someone announces that they are pregnant!!! it is so weird especially coming from other women. STAY OUT OF WOMENāS BUSINESS, PETER!!!
anyway in case you missed it BRITNEY SAID HER MEMOIR WILL BE DROPPING IN 2022, THE YEAR WE ARE CURRENTLY IN!!!!!!!!
and finally, if i had to see itā¦.
as someone who has gotten thrown into twitter jail MULTIPLE times on the burner account, let me not be the first to throw stones at a glass house!!!! but on main!!!! and about colson baker of all people!!!! STAND UP, MEGAN!!!!!!
after having conversations with friends, i am finally leaving gay pirate show island to visit harryās humble abode. not much of a scenery change, if i am honestā¦
xx
one of the funniest and most vibrant Actress AND Stars of our time, Ms Juicy Baby suffered a stroke on april 28th. her loved ones have asked that her privacy be respected as she begins to recover. she is someone who made me laugh on her TLC show, everytime i see her in a meme, every appearance on the rickey smiley show, and definitely brought me endless joy on her instagram. she is someone who chooses to constantly give and give her gift and light to the world, so if you are able to please consider donating to her gofundme to assist with medical bills.