sunday scaries 5: pockets on shrek, rockets on deck
two year anniversary of covid lockdown. atp i, too, would like to leave pete davidson's new york and head to mars with pitbull's tether aka jeff bezos
i hate the sun!!!! why do i have to continue saving daylight!!!! what has the sun ever done for me but burn me and force me to add more steps to my skincare routine! feeling like courtney love getting probation every time the clocks “spring forward”…………
i am turning 30….next year! this is my birthday month (something i appreciate more than my birthday because i like the idea of being acknowledged but being perceived? no thanks!) which marks the beginning of my return to saturn!!! and for everyone not familiar with astrology, return to saturns are BRUTAL!!! there is a reason i romanticised the 27 club my entire life! get me out of here!!!!!!
big ups to terry for voicing the question that runs through my mind once a week! larry rudolph was her manager at the time is the only light we can shed on the matter at this time…..
eric andre and tony hawk selling nfts. when eric and tony do it, i am sad. when tinashe does it, i am even more sad because if everyone would simply stream 333 we would not be here!
kanye will always be kanye and my most kind and intelligent friends even felt empathy for kimberly “broke people should never laugh” kardashian after his latest antics…. so why is my queen julia getting dragged into it AND getting dragged? uncut gems’ world stopped when julia and the weeknd showed up! julia saying uncut gems the way she did is nothing compared to kanye getting “LIFE ADVICE” from toy story lanez?!!! my instinct will always be to tell geminis to stand behind me but ENOUGH!!!! how far can one person spiral before they finally hit rock bottom? and i do count kimberly’s trips to staten island as her own spiral from grace!!!
i am tired of weirdo music videos and instagrams and paparazzi walks and screenshots and general long island street trash behaviours!!! how are they having even more unbearable reactions to their divorce than noah baumbach??!?!! are you not embarrazzed?!?! short of kimberly becoming united states attorney general or kanye becoming united states president, they will no longer be mentioned in this publication moving forward.
that being said…..kimberly noel kardashian saying “not enough people want to work” is annoying because:
she is just pulling one of the oldest kardashian tricks out of the bag to garner attention for their new show
they have infamously always treated their employees horribly and underpaid (if paid at all)
seems in poor taste since they recently aligned their businesses with lou taylor who thinks people should work for free for her under conservatorships
her dad is robert kardashian so she was never going to be wanting for anything in terms of finances or social exposure
she has never and will never do manual labor in her life; she could not even be bothered finding kanye a bandaid he liked! perhaps by “get your fucking ass up and work” i guess she means have unenthusiastic sex with brandy’s brother, steal 150k from brandy, and spend the better half of a decade taking selfies of your fake ass! yes, i know she does more Things but also not really!!!!
bring back the simple life but with all the kardashian sisters working at a best buy on black fridayCan’t talk we’re fucking workingIs it blue or silver? https://t.co/eMKLQuWjM1Kim Kardashian @KimKardashianHoly shit, just took a bathroom break after typing one sentence in Google Docs and Kim Kardashian appeared out of nowhere and beat me up.
but, for me, saying it to an audience of people that are still trying to navigate the continued/aftermath of a global pandemic. people have lost their loved ones and homes and jobs….while kim was flying her closest friends and family to a private island for her birthday before vaccines were rolled out. the tweets about that island getaway were not her “imagine video” because these idiotic statements are. even though she was addressing “women in business” most people (especially the ones still trying to keep up with the kardashians) have to maintain two jobs where they are severely overworked and underpaid just to have their basic needs met. at the end of the day you have to laugh, though, because for once, she had everyone on her side after kanye’s continued antics but just could not resist being the clown she has always been! if astrology is not real, why are libras like That?? <3 <3
we may have just had a time change but there must be 9 more weeks of winter because david dobrik has popped up out of his (9.5 million dollar) cave with another “apology”. somehow it is worse than both previous apologies combined. after two years of mostly radio silence, david has begun to open up to his audience more about what has been going on behind the scenes during his flop era.
the timing is a little sus as yesterday was casey neistat’s sxsw premiere of his full length documentary under the influence that follows david from 2019-present day. i just found out that christine vachon produced it which makes sense why everyone that saw it has been saying it is cannot miss viewing! i originally thought it would be a fluff piece made by david’s pal (that trisha paytas once never looks women in the eye or speaks to them directly) but now i am wishing i had joined my family in austin this weekend so i could view the project which may finally allow me to forgive casey for ending his podcast with his better half, candace pool neistat.
later this week, subscribers will get a more in depth breakdown of everything dobrik. but ,in short, how are david dobrik llc and dorinda medley doing right now? NOT WELL, BITCH!!!!
and if you are shivering in anticipation for the thing i have not been able to shut up about all week:
def noodles did a really in depth look at david’s “breaking my silence/apology” video meshed with (former friend/the guy whose head he smashed into the side of an excavator) jeff wittek’s response to it
casey neistat’s documentary has sparked several great pieces about the doc and david himself but my personal favourite was rolling stone’s coverage of under the influence because they had previously done what i thought was a (fittingly) psychotic profile on david last year
HOW DAVID DOBRIK MANIPULATES HIS FRIENDS is still one of the best videos made about how david operates….and this was two whole years before The Really Bad Stuff started occurring…
russia is still invading ukraine and it only seems to be getting worse. here is a link if you want to donate directly to emergency relief for ukranians.
amor prohibo turned 28 years old today so have been blasting it all day trying to regain some of that serotonin that was depleted from my brain after finishing the second season of the righteous gemstones. truly a flawless album but el chico del apartamento 512 still is getting played once a day.
xx