peaks and valleys: july 2021
goodbye july
how is july already over? covid’s residence in the united states has permanently further warped my sense of time but genuinely this month flew by.
here’s what i loved this month:
i have watched the gucci trailer. unfortunately the posters and casting news were not a part of my episode of punk’d and jared leto seems to have made the final cut of the film. i think i blacked out when lady gaga’s italian accent first caressed my ears but fortunately i am a simple girl with simple needs so the plot is merely a background to enjoying interactions between my italian american academy award winning actress and my burberry centaur.
i completed yet another succession rewatch. covid has taken so much from us already but causing such a delay for season 3 is truly unforgivable. the only thing keeping me alive is waiting for kendall roy’s head shave journey somewhere in the season. unsure of what i will do if the hair transformation happens onscreen. so maybe it is best that we have these so many months to emotionally prepare for That. it is still a perfect show. i hope nicholas brittell gets his ass ate from the back daily for his contributions to the world.
sawayama DELUXE. i will never be over this album. even after a year (or two), it still makes me feel like a supernova girl. lucid is such a perfect song!!! i love my wife!!! she has what the pop girls NEED! every song is truly a masterpiece and it helped me easily earn my spot as the top 1% of her fans on failing spotify (the app i only use to listen to rina, songs apple flop music does not have, and how long gone radio).
bo burnham’s inside. he really captured what it has felt like being sentient during this time. i have loved bo for over a decade now and it has been truly thrilling to watch his career play out. still cannot belieb mtv did not lock him in their basement with rob dyrdek because zach stone was such a Moment. from youtube videos to comedy specials to vines to feature films, bo has always made me laugh at times when i did not especially want to. so i hope he is doing ok!!! that ending was bleak!! report of the week has been dropping even more fire than usual so at least i know my brother in christ has some joy in his life.
the opportunist podcast. telling the true stories of “ordinary people who turn sinister by embracing opportunity”. where my darling dear scam goddess bring the LOLs of scammers, the opportunist truly made me feel deeply upset for days after each season ended. luckily, there is six months between the seasons (thus far) so more time to process the truly vile things hannah smith so soothingly lays out. the first season revolved around the massive online cult leader sherry shriner and her “fight” against the reptilian world order. it was sad to see how even after her death, her power over people lingers after i chomped the devil’s lettuce and spent a couple of hours scrolling through the still very active facebook group. the second season was even more unsettling as it featured robert courtney, the pharmacist who diluted chemotherapy drugs for nearly 100,000 prescriptions to make an enormous profit. it is deeply upsetting but so well done that i could not recommend it more!!!
and here are the things i did not love:
bill cosby being released from prison on a technicality. and i know she has been extremely busy earning an emmy nomination for her work on this is us/being the dean of howard university’s fine arts college, so mayhaps phylicia rashād did not have time to read the court documents where bill cosby admitted to giving quaaludes to unsuspecting women. but a backdoor deal nearly two decades ago lets him walk free despite his admitted guilt! it’s giving evidence casey anthony killed her child a week after the non guilty verdict. another win for our glorious justice system!!!
speaking of our flop justice system, britney spears has finally been able to hire a lawyer of her choosing. the next court date hearing is september 29. until then, i will be dropping a weekly profile on a different key player behind the paywall because the only thing team conservatorship loves more than spending britney’s money is spending britney’s money litigiously. i have also been working on a free britney: in her own words piece for several months now which will be dropping sometime within the next few weeks. which is ironic, because the thing i loathed this month was the media circus around britney starting to gather momentum again. so many people are now jumping ship by way of carefully placed articles and statements and instagram posts. with an end in sight for the first time since the conservatorshipS began there is a lot of speculation and passion, but it is a slippery slope between helping and hurting britney. britney and i grew up a couple hours away from each other so i have always felt a closeness to the princess of pop. hearing her briefly speak on her experience and watching those that have hurt her so deeply in so many ways now start to rewrite history with these twisted and planted narratives is infuriating, especially because most of what is being said can be refuted with literal court documents. i do not know what will happen on september 25, but i do know that we are currently in the season 2 finale of succession part of the britney spears conservatorship story. the writing is on the wall. somebody has to pay publicly. but who will be sacrificed? so many hands have *legally* been in the money pot, but whose head will be on the chopping block? i know perez hilton will be the first on mine this week.
dabastard. any tongue that rise against megan thee stallion shall fall. there is so many different layers to all the horse shit that has fallen out of dadipshit’s mouth. but the music video and response made it very clear dabarelyfivefoot’s goal was outrage attention. this type of content/comedy will always bewilder me but i am sure there is a nice place in hell for people like daflop alongside jeff bozo’s old face.
global warming???? can you just like stop?? leo season being too hot to be too hot is honestly (much like dawiddlebaby) homophobic. 91 but feels like 110?? not even hell is this hot, i hear.
my cats’ sleep schedule. the past few months they have started waking up at 4am (at the latest) ready to start their day. i had to buy a luxury cat canopy bed traveler similar to a damn baby bassinet to put them in at night. because much like j.lo in the 2002 michael apted vehicle, i have had ENOUGH!!!! being kept awake through various hours of the night has also only added to my useless productivity like laughing at and editing my old website i made for class during my freshman year of college, alphabetising my abba playlist, topping the solitaire leaderboard, buying ridiculous yet surprising useful things off instagram (thanks for constantly listening so you can very specifically cater to my needs you slimeball fart zuckerberg), and watching ¿¿¿twitch???
bad people doing bad things!!! the liza minelli has outlived twitter account is the only news outlet i can tolerate because everything is bad! using cryptocurrency to run online gambling sites and spending millions to promote it to children! the highest paid actress/defender of sexual predators is suing the mouse for more money! ben affleck’s children needing to get a job at dunkin donuts to spend any time with their father as his hot girl summer continues on! covid deaths and spikes! our tax dollars paying for representatives that are not protecting our most vulnerable communities! despite brad paisley and ll cool j’s best efforts, racism still very much exists! transphobia so severe that cis women were barred from the olympics! billionaires so bored/aware of what is coming they are fleeing to damn outer space! the news stories sound more and more like they are written by the onion or reductress and yet………
here’s hoping august brings us a little more sunshine and antibodies and a little less of whatever the hell this shitshow of a month was