FREE BRITNEY: in her own words
FREE BRITNEY can be found in documentary/article/youtube video/podcast titles around the globe. it can be seen on signs in front of the courtoom and on clothing. it is hashtagged across the internet. especially in the last couple of years, the words FREE BRITNEY have been on the tip of everyoneās tongue. everyone has a take on the conservatorshipS of britney spears but there has been one personās narrative and pov often overlooked in the conversation: britney.
partially, because she was silent on the conservatorship for so long and partially because the FREE BRITNEY movement, despite its intentions, is just another example of the public consumption of britneyās very private and real life. despite being one of the most heavily documented people since she signed a record deal at 15, her personal life and career are not separated on her wikipedia page. that is seemingly menial in the scheme of things britney is facing, but does not ultimately seem unrelated to her current situation.
when she spoke out in court in june 2021, it was so powerful. not only because of the content of her testimony but also because for the past 22 years we have often been told what to think of britney instead of hearing her out. she has had to repeatedly answer for the heinous crime of being young and uber famous/wealthy. and despite having been submitted to thousands and thousands of interviews over the years, very few actually feel like they are asking insightful or even interesting questions. so, i have collected her own words from years and hours of footage from candid videos, interviews, her documentaries, and her june 2021 court appearance to tell a version of her story using nothing but her own words that will have to suffice until she finally releases that book she joked about releasing in 2008. when she addressed the court in may 2019 and again in june 2021, britney said the same thing she said in 2008ās for the record; people were listening but they were not hearing her.
america, believe everything you read because you are smart and i am stupid!
i feel like there are things our there that have been said about me that arenāt completely true. not that i care about what the tabloids and all that kind of stuff say about me. but thereās a lot that people donāt know about me that i want them to know.
i didnāt think it was anyoneās business, really. i was devastated. when [my marriage to kevin federline] ended, i felt so alone. i didnāt really want to think about the reality of it. i never really faced it and i just ran. people thought i was going crazy. i was going through a lot but it was just me feeling free, shedding stuff that had happened.
i think some people choose to put on the record stuff thatās very, very personal to them. and i just think thatās, just my personal opinion, itās exposing yourself a little too much and i donāt feel comfortable doing that. my personal life?ā¦.IāVE LEARNED MY LESSON!
well, i have really been working since i was 8 years old. and it was probably on the mickey mouse club that i realised that i had such a major love for music because we had concerts and we got to be in the recording studio. thatās when i realised i want to go for this. iāve always wanted to sing. itās just something i always wanted to do. anytime i can go and dance and put choreography together, itās like a spiritual experience for me.
i am so grateful for everything and i just feel so incredibly blessed. but the realisation of when youāre famous and you canāt go back, thatās really weird for me. i donāt want you to pity me or anything because i wouldnāt change my life for anything.
all my management TOTALLY knew what they were doing when they sent me to rehab. [lou taylor] said ābritney, go to the light and see jesusā and i was like āoh my god! iām going to do it!ā and i did and it happened!
it was just so weird, i remember telling my assistant, i feel weirdā¦if i say no, i feel like theyāre gonna come back and be mean to me or punish me or something. three days after i said no to [another las vegas residency, immediately following an european tour that had preceded a four year vegas residency], my therapist put me on lithium out of nowhere. not only did my family not do a goddamn thing; my dad was all for it. my whole family did nothing.
i thought maybe if i said [iām happy, iām okay] enough, maybe i might become happy. iāve been in denial; iāve been in shock. i am traumatised. but i am telling you the truth now, OK? iām not happy. i canāt sleep. iām so angry itās insane. iām depressed, i cry everyday. and the reason iām telling you this is because I donāt think how the state of california can have all this written in the court documents from the time i showed up and do absolutely nothing ā just hire, with my money, another person and keep my dad on board.
my dad and anyone involved in this conservatorship and my management who played a huge role in punishing me when i said noāthey should be in jail.
iām a person, just like you. i think there are some things that you wish you wouldnāt have done but i think you learn from those things. i wouldnāt be the person that i am today. i think going through hardships in the public eye makes you wake up and be aware. but my precious body, who has worked for my dad for the past fucking 13 years, trying to be so good and pretty. so perfect. when he works me so hard. when i do everything iām told and the state of california allowed my father ā ignorant father ā to take his own daughter, who only has a role with me if i work with him, theyāve set back the whole course and allowed him to do that to me, thatās given these people iāve worked for way too much control. i want changes going forward. i deserve changes. iāve done more than enough.
i donāt owe these people anything ā especially me, the one that has roofed and fed tons of people on tour on the road. itās embarrassing and demoralizing what iāve been through. and thatās the main reason Iāve never said it openly. my lawyer has been very scared for me to go forward because heās saying if i speak up, iām being overworked in that facility of that rehab place, that rehab place will sue me. he told me to keep it to myself. itās not fair theyāre telling me lies about me openly. even my family, they do interviews to anyone they want on news stations. my own family doing interviews, and talking about the situation and making me feel so stupid. and i canāt say one thing. and my own people say i canāt say anything.
the conservatorship, from the beginning, once you see someone, whoever it is, in the conservatorship making money, making them money, and myself money and working ā that whole statement right there, the conservatorship should end.
i want the conservatorship to end. and considering my family has lived off my conservatorship for 13 years, i wonāt be surprised if one of them has something to say going forward, and say, āwe donāt think this should end, we have to help her.ā especially if i get my fair turn exposing what they did to me.
when i tell people how i feel, they hear me but theyāre really not listening. theyāre hearing what they want to hear; theyāre not hearing what i am telling them. iām sad. i just cope with it every day. i just feel like you do something and you learn from it. you move on. but iām having to pay for it for a really long time now.
i hope people listen to my music and it just makes them feel good and makes them feel something. when they hear it, it puts them in a good mood; it brightens their day. itās really important to spread joy. i just want to be a happy person. i just want my life back. itās been 13 years and itās been enough.
netflix and the new york times released documentaries this week and britneyās next court date is today. all are guaranteed to have britneyās name and story launch another thousand headlines, but the wall street jordan is officially retiring speaking on britney jean spears. she has given us SO much and is such a light! naturally, we are moths drawn to her sagittarian flame. but we are not entitled to her. once she is free from the conservatorship, her life will be hers again. for the first time legally in 13 years, but for the first time in much longer than that.
two of next monthās paid posts will be the final instalments of my DEATH! to them all series where i spent over two months going through court documents, documentaries, interviews, podcasts, published books, tweets, breathe heavyās archive and articles putting the spotlight on some of the people that have been gleefully hiding in britneyās shadow/pocketbook. the penultimate chapter will take a closer look at her business manager. the final chapter focuses on the legal side, the people that make a living profiting off conservatorships. both of these aspects are heavily affecting britneyās life, but britneyās life is a just a small part of theirs.
i personally will not know peace until every single person involved in britneyās finances/life since 1996 is held responsible for the part they played. britney was dragged through the tabloids, headlines, and condescending interviews for over a decade before the conservatorship. and nobody other than 19 year old cara cunningham publicly stood up for britney. there is a reason britney fans are suspicious of anyone in britneyās orbit; she has had so little genuine support and love from people she could trust; certainly not from her own family! but britney is not sixteen anymore. she is turning 40 years old this year. she deserves the privacy and space to navigate her own life for the first time, truly ever! as much as we are all rooting for her, we have to not let our love and concern cause another media circus around her daily life. then, and only then, will britney be truly free